Falling Behind
Mar. 1st, 2015 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarahw
This is taking longer to write than it took to experience! (sigh)
Where were we... the forest. The next bit is rather confusing.
Hoggle gave me a peach. I knew I shouldn't eat it -- fairy food, and all that -- but I was so hungry and it smelled so good, and Hoggle insisted it was for me -- all of which should have tipped me off. Silly Sarah. Nothing is as it seems. Even more so in this case. Because when I took a bit of the peach, everything started dancing. And then I was dancing, at a ball, dressed like a princess. As if I were Cinderella. It was like a dream, only more vivid, as if it were real. I could feel the satin and lace in my dress, smell the honey smell of the flowers; the floor felt solid under my feet. But distances were strange, perspective was off, I couldn't see the edges of the room. And, like a dream, I didn't question what I was doing there or how I'd arrived there. I was surrounded by people in grotesque goblin masks, talking and laughing and sneering, with their beautiful wigs and their beautiful clothes and their beautiful illusions. All I knew was that I was looking for something, looking for someone. I didn't know who, I just knew I'd know when I found them. Did I think I was Cinderella looking for her prince, or was part of me struggling underneath, trying to remember that I was looking for Toby? I don't know. Whether I was or not, he decided to turn up and play the part of the Prince. He let himself be found, and danced with me.
It was a very pretty dream, and I was lost in it.
Then the clock struck midnight, and I knew I had to get out of there. But there was no way out, it was like I was trapped inside one of the Goblin King's crystal spheres, nothing but glass and mirrors. So I picked up a chair and smashed the mirror-walls, and everything shattered. The bubble burst.
I woke up in a junk heap. The peach was still in my hand, and a worm came out of it. Eww! Reflex action, I threw it away. Then this goblin lady with a huge bundle on her back, led me to what I thought was shelter. I stepped inside and there was my room, my bedroom with everything in order, everything in the right place. I was so relieved to be home. I thought it was home, that nothing bad had actually happened, that the whole thing had been just a nightmare. Then I opened the door and found that the nightmare was still outside. I recoiled, and the goblin lady came in and tried to soothe me, sitting me down in my chair and giving me things to hold, like my teddy bears and my dolls and my lipstick, and she started piling them up at my back, too. I was bemused, confused, dazed. Then as the pile got higher, I realized that if I let it go on, I would turn into her, carrying a bunch of useless things on my back, as if they were important, as if they meant something, as if they were more important than love and dreams. As if they were more important than people. As if they were more important than Toby.
They were nothing but junk.
But as soon as I said that, the walls started falling in. I managed to scramble out before I was buried.
I had to rescue Toby. Nothing was more important than that.
Where were we... the forest. The next bit is rather confusing.
Hoggle gave me a peach. I knew I shouldn't eat it -- fairy food, and all that -- but I was so hungry and it smelled so good, and Hoggle insisted it was for me -- all of which should have tipped me off. Silly Sarah. Nothing is as it seems. Even more so in this case. Because when I took a bit of the peach, everything started dancing. And then I was dancing, at a ball, dressed like a princess. As if I were Cinderella. It was like a dream, only more vivid, as if it were real. I could feel the satin and lace in my dress, smell the honey smell of the flowers; the floor felt solid under my feet. But distances were strange, perspective was off, I couldn't see the edges of the room. And, like a dream, I didn't question what I was doing there or how I'd arrived there. I was surrounded by people in grotesque goblin masks, talking and laughing and sneering, with their beautiful wigs and their beautiful clothes and their beautiful illusions. All I knew was that I was looking for something, looking for someone. I didn't know who, I just knew I'd know when I found them. Did I think I was Cinderella looking for her prince, or was part of me struggling underneath, trying to remember that I was looking for Toby? I don't know. Whether I was or not, he decided to turn up and play the part of the Prince. He let himself be found, and danced with me.
It was a very pretty dream, and I was lost in it.
Then the clock struck midnight, and I knew I had to get out of there. But there was no way out, it was like I was trapped inside one of the Goblin King's crystal spheres, nothing but glass and mirrors. So I picked up a chair and smashed the mirror-walls, and everything shattered. The bubble burst.
I woke up in a junk heap. The peach was still in my hand, and a worm came out of it. Eww! Reflex action, I threw it away. Then this goblin lady with a huge bundle on her back, led me to what I thought was shelter. I stepped inside and there was my room, my bedroom with everything in order, everything in the right place. I was so relieved to be home. I thought it was home, that nothing bad had actually happened, that the whole thing had been just a nightmare. Then I opened the door and found that the nightmare was still outside. I recoiled, and the goblin lady came in and tried to soothe me, sitting me down in my chair and giving me things to hold, like my teddy bears and my dolls and my lipstick, and she started piling them up at my back, too. I was bemused, confused, dazed. Then as the pile got higher, I realized that if I let it go on, I would turn into her, carrying a bunch of useless things on my back, as if they were important, as if they meant something, as if they were more important than love and dreams. As if they were more important than people. As if they were more important than Toby.
They were nothing but junk.
But as soon as I said that, the walls started falling in. I managed to scramble out before I was buried.
I had to rescue Toby. Nothing was more important than that.